Last December, Wendy was part of a choir that sang at a Lights of Love event. She said it was the first time she had felt able to go back to the hospice, and it was very emotional, but she felt very close to her Mum, and and enormously powerful energy of love in the hospice. Here, Wendy tells us what St Wilfrid's means to her and her family.

"When my Mum died, St Wilfrid's Hospice gave my family the gift of being able to breathe together and hold each other as our little family unit changed shape. There was no trauma, no more frantic panic, no fear, just an overwhelming sadness where my amazing Mum had been.

When Mum was first diagnosed with bowel cancer, the medical team was confident that a combination of surgery and immunotherapy would be helpful, but they soon decided that was not going to be possible and we were told nothing could be done. As it happened, the afternoon she heard that news I was camping locally with my children and nephew. Mum came and played badminton with her grandchildren, and we all sat round the campfire, toasting marshmallows and singing into the starry night sky. It’s a memory I cherish.

Within a few weeks, Mum was so poorly she came to stay with us. She knew her life was coming to an end and was okay with this - more than anything she wanted it to be as easy as possible for me. Her ideal scenario was to be at home with us for as long as she could and then go into the hospice.

We were lucky to have a stream of wonderfully caring, kind and competent people administering pain relief, helping to keep Mum clean and comfortable, answering my questions and reassuring us that we would not be on our own. And someone was always on the end of the phone at the hospice’s 24/7 advice line to advise and support me.

Once Mum became too poorly for us to look after at home, she was admitted to St Wilfrid’s. As soon as she was taken in, we could see what an incredible gift of love the hospice offers. Her room was immaculate with everything she might need and space for us to be with her, with a wonderful garden and doors wide enough for her bed to be taken outside.

She was only at the hospice for one whole day, but Mum was peaceful and comfortable. Drifting in and out of sleep, she told me she was going for a lovely walk on the Downs. Mum loved the outdoors and was a keen gardener and hiker; she had always been super fit and active.

Although I wasn’t with her when she died early the following morning, I knew she was being cared for in the best possible way, with love, dignity and gentle respect.

After Mum died, it took me a long time to realise I was no longer singing, something we had both loved. I pushed myself to join a choir, and last December, we sang at the hospice’s Lights of Love celebration. It was the first time I had felt able to go back, and it was very emotional, but I felt very close to Mum, and the enormously powerful energy of love in the hospice building was palpable.

So now I am inviting you to experience this love and connection by taking part in this year’s
Lights of Love. And, if you are able to make a donation with your dedication, I know it will really help the amazing team at St Wilfrid’s Hospice to continue supporting families like mine in the most challenging of times.”