When Ash Glen from Seaford was diagnosed with bowel cancer aged just 37, he was running his own successful IT business and living life to the full with his wife, Katie, and their two young children. Here, Katie tells us how St Wilfrid’s enabled Ash to die at home surrounded by his family.

“You know that feeling when you step off an aeroplane into a warm country – that rush? That’s what it was like to be around Ash. He was just warm and electric and wore his heart on his sleeve.

Ash really loved life, and everybody loved him. He had one of the best retention rates for his customers at work because people didn’t want to leave him. He was a big foodie and loved cooking, cars and travel. Portugal was one of our favourite places and we visited regularly, even getting married there in 2017.

It was a shock when Ash was diagnosed with bowel cancer in November 2022. He underwent chemotherapy and radiotherapy, but his cancer was too aggressive, and it was only 10 short months until he passed away.

When Ash was told he wasn’t going to get better, our family doctor put us in touch with St Wilfrid’s Hospice for end of life care. Ash’s knee-jerk reaction was to say he wanted to go into the hospice because he didn’t want to be a burden on the family. However, once we assured him none of us saw it that way, he decided to stay at home with the hospice’s support.

Ash went downhill quickly and within a week and a half he went from being able to do everything for himself to being bed bound. By now, St Wilfrid’s doctors and nurses were visiting several times a day. They made everything easier for me because I was still a mum needing to do school runs, walk the dog and all the other things that need doing in a busy household.

They even sorted out a hospital bed for our home so that Ash was able to sit up. He was in so much pain when he laid flat that he couldn’t cuddle the children, so being able to sit up made all the difference.

The St Wilfrid’s team made sure Ash was comfortable, helping with personal care and administering medication. It was a huge relief that someone else was taking care of his medication as, although the doctor had advised me on what Ash could have and when, when you look at your favourite person in pain, and they’re asking you for more painkillers, it’s a big responsibility.

It felt like St Wilfrid’s made everything possible. There were a couple of times where the syringe driver that administered his medication stopped working and the nurses were with us to fix it within half an hour. The team were just really, really good, and always there for us. And even after Ash had passed away, someone phoned to check how I was. I didn’t expect that, and I felt supported the whole time.

Since then, family members have been offered counselling at the hospice, including our children Maisie, nine, and Grayson, six. I’d never been in the hospice building before that and was shocked at how lovely it is. I wasn’t expecting to walk into such a beautiful place; it’s so light and airy. When you think of hospices, you think of closed-in, cold, dark places and it’s not like that at all. The facilities are amazing and the gardens are stunning.

It would have been really difficult without St Wilfrid’s. I’d have continued being Ash’s carer and wouldn’t have been able to support the kids in the way they needed, and I think I’d have got ill trying to do everything.

I didn’t expect to be a widow at 29 and it’s not a community that I want to be a part of, but I try and find positives in everything. I know Ash wouldn’t want me to be moping around all the time. And you guys at St Wilfrid’s, you’re like the team that nobody ever wants to have, but we’re lucky to have.

It would be a real shame not to get the funding the hospice needs, because St Wilfrid’s makes such a difference. We raised around £2,500 through Ash’s memorial page, and I’ve just signed myself and the kids up for Rainbow Run. We’ve got a lot of great people doing it with us, and some of them are currently being supported by the hospice. I want to help St Wilfrid’s because it’s an amazing place and I’m so grateful.”

To find out more about Rainbow Run, visit events.stwhospice.org/event/rainbow-run/home