Caron Style is taking on our Fire Walk challenge to raise funds for the hospice. She has consistently been at, or near, the top of the fundraising leaderboard, so we asked her why she decided to walk on hot coals.

“My Dad, Norman Parker, was a happy and positive man who loved life. He and my Mum, Valerie, had been married 60 years when we sadly lost her in 2022 due to vascular dementia. Despite it being such a difficult time, Dad was still motivated to make the most of life and keep the promise he made to Mum to ‘keep going’. He was a familiar figure in his buggy around Eastbourne visiting his favourite cafés and getting his shopping.

Dad became unwell in July 2023 and spent six and a half weeks in hospital suffering from kidney and heart failure. Seeing Dad so poorly and unhappy, then being told there was nothing further that could be done to treat his illness, left us feeling helpless.

It was such a relief when the call came from St Wilfrid’s to say they would be able to care for him, although we had no idea what care he would receive. As it turned out, St Wilfrid’s gave Dad the best care possible for nearly three weeks.

When my sister Debra and I walked into St Wilfrid’s, it was like being held, and all the pressure was taken away. From the minute we arrived, things started to feel calm and peaceful. Everyone we met cared, understood and listened to our fears. And all the staff took such great care of Dad, never failing to look after him, respecting him and all his needs. We all felt safe.

From Dad’s room, he could see out into the beautiful garden, which also became a quiet space of solace for us when we needed to step out. The Host Volunteers provided the food or drinks that he fancied. Dad was always a sociable person, and they made time to chat and have a laugh with him. It was so good to see him smiling again. Every visitor was made welcome, and nothing was too much trouble.

I would arrive early in the morning, which was never a problem to the staff, and would leave knowing he was in safe hands. I could tell Dad felt relaxed knowing this too. Most mornings I would sit for a while near the café and watch the staff getting on with the day. It never ceased to fill my heart with love, respect and gratitude for each one of them and the job they did.

The nurses were always on hand and quickly responded to any concerns. The greatest worry was that Dad would be in pain, but he wasn’t; the hospice team made sure he was comfortable and pain-free.

I was lucky enough to be with Dad when he passed. I would not have been able to do this without St Wilfrid’s’ support. I was scared of death and Dad dying. An amazing nurse stayed with me and Dad, and reassured me it was okay. It was. I feel so blessed and strengthened by this support and understanding. It gave me, and all the family, the courage to let Dad go, to be sad, but know all was okay. The kindness and compassion from everyone was immense, and continues. I know it is there still whenever it is needed.

Dad always encouraged us to keep going, so doing the Fire Walk challenge is partly in honour of his determination to live life to the full. But it is also to raise money for an organisation whose incredible care and support made such a difference to the final few weeks of his life.

Every part of the hospice worked so hard and gave my family the strength to say goodbye. I will never forget you all – you are truly amazing.”

Pictured: Norman when he was at the hospice; Norman and Valerie were married for 60 years; Norman and Caron

Find out more about Fire Walk